Breast cancer shock

I’ve just been handed a malignant breast cancer diagnosis after a (very painful) mammogram.

It’s hard to describe how overwhelming such a diagnosis is. Shock, disbelief, dread, but also a feeling of inevitability, and much cursing of Murphy - the unfairness of it all. Tears, anger, having to stay positive for other people (and yourself).

Get odd symptoms checked</h2>

The odd symptom began less than two months ago. A small amount of milky-white fluid leaked from one nipple. It was the problematic one that has enjoyed turning itself inside out since I was a teen.

I can’t be pregnant (no uterus), and I’m far from menopause, so I trotted off to the gynaecologist, thinking it was something simple - inflammatory or an infection.

Breast cancer tests

He tested the prolactin levels - the pituitary gland can malfunction - and then went on holidays. I was so relieved when the results were good (no brain cancer!) When he returned, after two months, I was starting to bleed, mixed in with the milky fluid from the nipple. So he sent me to have a mammogram, “just to be safe” he said.

I wasn’t safe: One quadrant on the left had lots of calcification in the ducts. The amount, the spread, and the clarity (also during an ultrasound) made the radiologist say she is certain it’s malignant on that side. The right also shows calcification, but less and benign.

Ductal carcinoma in situ. Crap.

This should have been fast tracked to a mammogram immediately based on the symptoms, not waited for the gynecologist to return from his long holiday.

Too many causes

Lots of hefty hormonal treatments for endometriosis, exposure to toxins, loads of radioactive scans, the Fukushima radioactive fallout that I was in the middle of, susceptibility to cancer in my genes from my father’s side? There are so many potential causes.

Some of the other common symptoms of breast cancer, I’ve had since I was a teen – inverted nipple and breast pain. No lumps though, althoughit is a tiny bit more solid in the bad quadrant when you ever so lightly compare both sides.

No waiting lists for cancer patients

My mammogram was the day after I got the prescription for it, and I saw the gyn immediately after the test, then made an appointment with the hospital for the initial explanations, with a biopsy to follow. Completely unlike the 3+ month waiting periods for tests and appointments for endometriosis, or the 6+ for chronic pain and rheumatology, and 12+ for psych and lymph.

Visualised cancer on an imaging test makes doctors move fast, and they show a lot more compassion than with other illnesses.

Good prognosis

The radiologist and the hospital gynecologist say it’s only in situ - only in the ducts. It hasn’t spread to the lymph system, and it’s one of the most widely researched, common types of cancer. While it is more common to do a lumpectomy followed by radiation and tamoxifen, a mastectomy may be needed because of how far it has spread. The radiologist has said they do reconstructive surgery as ‘standard’ now.

The next hurdle is the biopsy results - how active are the cancer cells (if there are any)? Are they hormonal? This will guide my treatment.

I’ve been tasked with increased physical activity (despite the pain), and meditation/yoga. I might run off into games a little more often to distract my overwhelmed brain, and to feel at least some sense of control. ‘Cos my life certainly feels out of control right now.

It has put a dent in both my work travel and overseas plans for this year. So I’m happy to have found a good online Japanese grocer (in the UK), and am taking advantage of the good pound-euro exchange rates. :-)

I’ll keep you posted, and I will get through this.